There are times when words won't seem to express the thoughts and feelings of the heart. And no matter how hard I try it falls short.
I have been reflecting over this last year much and trying to find the words to describe what I have come to know. I have found myself much through this year saying in my heart, "Lord, I hope you know I am having a hard time." So many emotional experiences that I didn't expect to have seemingly one on top of another.
I found my heart pleading to have the gratitude that I knew in my mind I should have. I found myself asking why when I didn't understand. I found myself wondering is life doomed? I found myself in a lot of pain in my heart and alone. I felt heartache for the loss of friendship. I felt frustration at life's circumstances. I felt emotionally exhausted.
Through all the experiences I cried my heart out to the Lord. I knew he would listen and he was the one who could understand, teach me, and heal my pain. In my moments of struggle as I went to the Lord I gained greater wisdom and insight as I lived the lessons he wanted to teach me.
These are a few of the Lessons:
1.) Righteous Women are a blessing in our lives: I have often heard the Prophet and Apostles talk about the influence of a righteous woman. I often think of their influence and strength for a man, but this year I came to appreciate so much more their influence in my life. I am surrounded by some amazing women who live and love the gospel. They are my best friends and even though we may live in different parts of the country, they have made some of the greatest impacts on my life. They have picked up the phone when I called late at night sobbing, they have taken me on adventures, they have listened, and they have shared. We survived the year together, supporting one another, teaching one another, and reminding each other that "We Can Do It" just like Rosie the Riveter said.
2.) Families are a part of Heavenly Father's plan of happiness:My understanding has increased on the importance of families in our lives. This one is maybe the hardest for me to explain what is in my heart. I can't express the desires or heartache felt for not yet having the opportunity/challenge of creating my own family nor can I adequately express the great love and joy I receive from my parents and brothers and sisters. What I know is that our family are some of the most important people in our lives, whether we are born into them, chosen by them, or choose them. Those relationships are the most important and valued in my life and always worth the greatest expressions of my love.
3.) Hold On: When life gets you down, when your house burns down, when your heart is broken, when you lose a loved one or friend, when you are lonely, when all seems lost, when you feel like life is doomed, when you feel like you want to give in... Hold On! What do you hold on to? Christ. Pray, study the scriptures, listen to words of a Prophet and Apostles, Pray, and live the Gospel. I promise with all my heart it is worth it. It is worth it, Just Hold On! Let the Lord be your strength when you have none. Give your heart to him. Be humble and repentant, let the pride go, let forgiveness wash over you, and accept his will. What I know is that his will is better than my own. And then trust that he will lead your paths as you let go of your will and desires and follow His. Trust that you will be filled with joy and happiness. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes we have to go through the storms and feel them no matter how excruciating, but Hold On, because God is with us!
4.) Happiness comes from serving: Some of my greatest joys have come from serving others. From paying attention to needs or just wanting to express love to another. My heart has been filled with great joy as I have been able to teach my wonderful 12 and 13 year old friends from church. It is an adventurous teaching experience and during it I have felt their love, I have seen their testimonies, and I have come to love them.
5.) Trust in God: I feel that this lesson has been taught to me over and over throughout my years in different experiences. Mosiah 24:12-16 describes many of the lessons I have learned this year as a result of trusting in him. My burdens (heartache) was lightened, I felt strengthened, I became a better disciple of Christ, I came closer to Christ, learned to cheerfully submit my will to God's in patience, most importantly learned to a greater degree that God is with us in our adversity and sorrows. I also learned the importance of grief as well as time. These lessons were not immediate or immediately embraced. The lessons grew line upon line and precept upon precept. It has been a continual progression of learning and growth and that growth and progression will continue to occur.
6.) Embrace the lessons of the scriptures:The people of the scriptures have become my friends. Ruth is a continual source of inspiration for me. Joseph of Egypt has become a new found friend. One of my favorite lessons learned from him is in Genesis 50:17-21. Despite the way his brothers treated him, despite his less than ideal circumstances throughout his life he succeeded because he always looked to God and lived his faith. When his brothers feared that with their father gone Joseph would treat them unkindly his response to them was "Am I in the place of God?... God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." His circumstances were often difficult, unfair, and no fault of his own. He would seemingly have every right to be upset, frustrated, and mad at the world, but he chose to accept and live God's will and for that he and multitudes of others were blessed. In his acceptance of God's will and forgiveness towards his brothers he also allowed them to see and understand mercy and allowed them the ability to repent for their wrongdoings. He gave them freedom to choose differently. He condemned their sins by saying, "ye thought evil against me..." but then showed forth an outpouring of love, "fear ye not... and comforted them, and spake kindly unto them."
President James E Faust expressed well some of the things I have come to appreciate this year in a talk he gave. In this talk he said, "The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless."
2010 was the sweet and 2011 was the bitter. Such contrasting years it makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. :) There were bitter moments in 2010 and there were sweet moments in 2011. 2010 was my year to learn from Mary , the mother of Jesus, as I was chosen and 2011 was my year to learn from Elisabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, as I have waited for desired blessings. I have learned from Abraham of sacrifice and waiting patiently. I have learned from modern day Apostles of Waiting upon the Lord.
We each have our different experiences that teach us the same lessons, that carve us, that refine us. I have become so grateful for these lessons that I have learned that my heart has finally felt the gratitude my mind knew it should. I have become so grateful for the miracles that I have seen as a result of the things that have happened around me this year that my heart has been filled with joy and peace and gratitude. I have become so grateful for happiness in my life and those things that bring me joy. I have become grateful for the refiner's fire and the person the Lord sees that I can be and not limiting me. I climbed my mountain and the view has been breathtaking as I have thought of the love of God.
This next year I look forward to the Faith to move mountains, I look forward to having new experiences, and I look forward to enjoying old experiences.
Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012!
Happy New Year!
I have been reflecting over this last year much and trying to find the words to describe what I have come to know. I have found myself much through this year saying in my heart, "Lord, I hope you know I am having a hard time." So many emotional experiences that I didn't expect to have seemingly one on top of another.
I found my heart pleading to have the gratitude that I knew in my mind I should have. I found myself asking why when I didn't understand. I found myself wondering is life doomed? I found myself in a lot of pain in my heart and alone. I felt heartache for the loss of friendship. I felt frustration at life's circumstances. I felt emotionally exhausted.
Through all the experiences I cried my heart out to the Lord. I knew he would listen and he was the one who could understand, teach me, and heal my pain. In my moments of struggle as I went to the Lord I gained greater wisdom and insight as I lived the lessons he wanted to teach me.
These are a few of the Lessons:
1.) Righteous Women are a blessing in our lives: I have often heard the Prophet and Apostles talk about the influence of a righteous woman. I often think of their influence and strength for a man, but this year I came to appreciate so much more their influence in my life. I am surrounded by some amazing women who live and love the gospel. They are my best friends and even though we may live in different parts of the country, they have made some of the greatest impacts on my life. They have picked up the phone when I called late at night sobbing, they have taken me on adventures, they have listened, and they have shared. We survived the year together, supporting one another, teaching one another, and reminding each other that "We Can Do It" just like Rosie the Riveter said.
2.) Families are a part of Heavenly Father's plan of happiness:My understanding has increased on the importance of families in our lives. This one is maybe the hardest for me to explain what is in my heart. I can't express the desires or heartache felt for not yet having the opportunity/challenge of creating my own family nor can I adequately express the great love and joy I receive from my parents and brothers and sisters. What I know is that our family are some of the most important people in our lives, whether we are born into them, chosen by them, or choose them. Those relationships are the most important and valued in my life and always worth the greatest expressions of my love.
3.) Hold On: When life gets you down, when your house burns down, when your heart is broken, when you lose a loved one or friend, when you are lonely, when all seems lost, when you feel like life is doomed, when you feel like you want to give in... Hold On! What do you hold on to? Christ. Pray, study the scriptures, listen to words of a Prophet and Apostles, Pray, and live the Gospel. I promise with all my heart it is worth it. It is worth it, Just Hold On! Let the Lord be your strength when you have none. Give your heart to him. Be humble and repentant, let the pride go, let forgiveness wash over you, and accept his will. What I know is that his will is better than my own. And then trust that he will lead your paths as you let go of your will and desires and follow His. Trust that you will be filled with joy and happiness. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes we have to go through the storms and feel them no matter how excruciating, but Hold On, because God is with us!
4.) Happiness comes from serving: Some of my greatest joys have come from serving others. From paying attention to needs or just wanting to express love to another. My heart has been filled with great joy as I have been able to teach my wonderful 12 and 13 year old friends from church. It is an adventurous teaching experience and during it I have felt their love, I have seen their testimonies, and I have come to love them.
5.) Trust in God: I feel that this lesson has been taught to me over and over throughout my years in different experiences. Mosiah 24:12-16 describes many of the lessons I have learned this year as a result of trusting in him. My burdens (heartache) was lightened, I felt strengthened, I became a better disciple of Christ, I came closer to Christ, learned to cheerfully submit my will to God's in patience, most importantly learned to a greater degree that God is with us in our adversity and sorrows. I also learned the importance of grief as well as time. These lessons were not immediate or immediately embraced. The lessons grew line upon line and precept upon precept. It has been a continual progression of learning and growth and that growth and progression will continue to occur.
6.) Embrace the lessons of the scriptures:The people of the scriptures have become my friends. Ruth is a continual source of inspiration for me. Joseph of Egypt has become a new found friend. One of my favorite lessons learned from him is in Genesis 50:17-21. Despite the way his brothers treated him, despite his less than ideal circumstances throughout his life he succeeded because he always looked to God and lived his faith. When his brothers feared that with their father gone Joseph would treat them unkindly his response to them was "Am I in the place of God?... God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." His circumstances were often difficult, unfair, and no fault of his own. He would seemingly have every right to be upset, frustrated, and mad at the world, but he chose to accept and live God's will and for that he and multitudes of others were blessed. In his acceptance of God's will and forgiveness towards his brothers he also allowed them to see and understand mercy and allowed them the ability to repent for their wrongdoings. He gave them freedom to choose differently. He condemned their sins by saying, "ye thought evil against me..." but then showed forth an outpouring of love, "fear ye not... and comforted them, and spake kindly unto them."
President James E Faust expressed well some of the things I have come to appreciate this year in a talk he gave. In this talk he said, "The Divine Shepherd has a message of hope, strength, and deliverance for all. If there were no night, we would not appreciate the day, nor could we see the stars and the vastness of the heavens. We must partake of the bitter with the sweet. There is a divine purpose in the adversities we encounter every day. They prepare, they purge, they purify, and thus they bless."
2010 was the sweet and 2011 was the bitter. Such contrasting years it makes me want to laugh and cry all at the same time. :) There were bitter moments in 2010 and there were sweet moments in 2011. 2010 was my year to learn from Mary , the mother of Jesus, as I was chosen and 2011 was my year to learn from Elisabeth, the mother of John the Baptist, as I have waited for desired blessings. I have learned from Abraham of sacrifice and waiting patiently. I have learned from modern day Apostles of Waiting upon the Lord.
We each have our different experiences that teach us the same lessons, that carve us, that refine us. I have become so grateful for these lessons that I have learned that my heart has finally felt the gratitude my mind knew it should. I have become so grateful for the miracles that I have seen as a result of the things that have happened around me this year that my heart has been filled with joy and peace and gratitude. I have become so grateful for happiness in my life and those things that bring me joy. I have become grateful for the refiner's fire and the person the Lord sees that I can be and not limiting me. I climbed my mountain and the view has been breathtaking as I have thought of the love of God.
This next year I look forward to the Faith to move mountains, I look forward to having new experiences, and I look forward to enjoying old experiences.
Goodbye 2011 Hello 2012!
Happy New Year!
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