I love you with all of my heart. This can be a difficult and heartbreaking world to live in and yet so full of goodness and beauty if you will seek to be a part of it. My greatest hope is to be able to teach you and lead in example to turn to God, his son Jesus Christ, and to listen to the whispering of the spirit. I know if you do this I have no need to worry. You will make it through your struggles, you will not be alone when I cannot be there, you will be a force for good in the world and help to create beauty.
I wish I could keep you from struggling and pain but I know I cannot, and I also know it is an important part of your journey which will make you stronger if you choose to turn to Christ.
In my life I have had moments of doubts or questions on things that I didn't quite understand. I haven't always received an immediate answer to an uttered prayer while sometimes I do. In those moments as you wait to receive an answer to your sincere prayer, diligently search the scriptures and serve the Lord. I testify to you that as you do these things the answers will come to you through your thoughts, impressions on the heart, or from the word of God. This will be the best way to receive the answer for yourself because then it will be imprinted on your heart and mind through the spirit of God. It won't be a temporary fix that is calmed just for the moment only to arise again in the future because of a different source that you sought after for truth. Remember God and Christ are your ultimate source of truth, seek for confirmation from them through the spirit.
I have experienced heartache and pain in my life. There have been times when I have had others who mourn with me and express compassion and love. Then there are those times in the quiet of the night or early morning hours where tears have wet my pillow and I feel alone in my quiet struggle. I want you to know you are never alone even if you feel you are. You will forever have the prayers of your mother pleading with her father in heaven to watch over you, to lead you, guide you, and comfort you. I know from my own experience that God answers my prayers and he is with you. Reach out to him, cry your tears and heartache to him and allow the Atonement of Christ to heal your pain and provide you with peace that all will be well for you and that he can and will be your strength when you are weak, he will make you strong.
I have made mistakes in my life, moments when I have chosen contrary to what the Lord would have me choose. I want you to know that making a mistake and sinning is a part of life. I would encourage you to choose good and do the best that you can to avoid the consequences of a sinful choice but the truth is you will have imperfect moments in life. In those moments I want you to know that you have a mother who loves you no matter what and always wants you in her heart and home. There will always be consequences because of a sinful choice but my love for you will never be lost or go away. If you need my help I am here. Most importantly know that just as great as my love is for you, God's love is greater. He wants you to come home to him too. He will bring you home through repentance and his son's atonement. Sometimes repentance may be rough, it is definitely humbling. You are not alone as you go through the process of repentance. I promise that Christ will carry you, he will lead you. Your work is simply to learn of him and serve him. His love and compassion will do the rest to cleanse you and change you. As you learn of him and serve him your desire to do good will grow and you will feel of his overwhelming love and you will become so aware of the goodness in your life. Don't let the idea of being perfect and not measuring up hold you back from realizing who you are, a child of God, and progressing towards who you can become through Christ.
My dearest children I hope and yearn for you to come be a part of my life. I haven't found your father yet but I imagine I will choose a handsome man who loves God, serves him, and desires to serve our family and choose to love me every day. He won't be perfect but he is striving to live and act according to gospel values. As I strive to find your father I am doing my best to live a life of purpose. I am not perfect at it but every day is a new day, every moment a new moment to make a better choice. I have been greatly blessed as I have been on this journey so far. While there have been my difficult moments I have been surrounded by so many happy moments. I have been blessed to be a part of miracles in your grandparents and aunts and uncles lives. I have been a part of miracles in the lives of my friends. I have experienced the great love that Heavenly Father has for others and that helps me to better understand the great love he has for me and for you.
My dear children seek to live with purpose, serve the Lord and be a witness of Christ's love. I promise you will live a blessed and happy life no matter your circumstances. Remember to count your blessings and be full of gratitude because this will open your eyes and heart to the beauty in your world.
With all my love,
Your mother
