Overcoming Fears

I have a lot of experience having to overcome fears in my life. Mostly because I get anxiety over things most people probably don't have issues with. Sometimes I get so nervous I actually shake.

So often I find myself having to push myself through those fears and through the anxiety. I honestly can't help it, but I try not to let it stop me from doing things that I want. Which is why I served a mission, not because I necessarily wanted to, but because I knew that is what the Lord wanted of me and therefore it became a desire of mine, because I desired to serve him with my heart.

Fast forward to the beginning of last semester. I was completing an independent study with one of my professors. One of the requirements for this course was to become certified in a group exercise class. For the past 6 months-ish I had been participating in a Zumba class. It is soo much fun! I love to dance and shake my hips and it is fitness! YES!! So of course my heart was set on this.

I told my professors what I wanted to do and I swear they looked at me strangely and then offered their thoughts of thinking that I would be better suited for yoga. Yes I do have a quiet and calming voice, I am a low key person, not very dramatic, sure I didn't speak up a lot in class. I get their thought process. :) But they don't know the part of me that if I think you care to listen to me I WON'T SHUT UP! Seriously it is a problem. I have had many a friend that has said when we first met you were so quiet now I can't get you to be quiet. Sorry, my room mates really get the brunt of this. Though I have to say my room mates have always loved me and are all life long friends so they must really love this about me. :)

Really there are many layers to me and my professors did not see the underlying layers. But this introduced doubt into my head about myself. Fear that maybe I was wanting to do something that was better left for someone else. I mean dancing in front of people. Seriously?? I don't like being watched it makes me nervous. But I wanted to do this.

My good friend Phillip encouraged me that if I really wanted to do it, then I should do it. He gave me the courage to go forward with it, even though I was doubting myself. To push through those fears.

I went through the semester with a few more mentions from my professors of maybe trying out yoga, but I pushed through and went and got certified. But I still needed to build up my song base to a full class. I did a little teaching for a few songs before the semester ended.

Then my internship came and I would have the opportunity to continue building up my song base. My first class I was so nervous for. I don't know why, I had taught the songs before but it seemed different somehow. My turn came to teach my song and I made it through the first one feeling a little queasy, then during the 2nd one, lets just say my stomach was not happy and if I had anything in it I would have given it up on the floor. I think the class just thought I suddenly caught a cough, but really my stomach was heaving and I was doing everything I could to hold it down and keep dancing. So yeah great first start to my Zumba career and hello to the fears and doubts. But I would not let myself give in. This time the encouraging words came from my parents letting me know of the confidence they had in me and that I could do it.

Every week I added more songs and never did I get to the point where my stomach was heaving. Of course some of the staff questioned why I chose to be a Zumba instructor, and then they took my class. And I quote, "My hips don't move like her hips, she has seductive hips, I get why you chose to be a Zumba instructor now." Ha ha, that's right I wanted it because I have seductive hips! ;)

What I love about Zumba is I can wake up in the morning and begin just going through the motions to make it through the day, then after I do some Zumba songs, my energy is up and I am lively and I forgot that I was just trying to make it through the next few hours. I love when a person who has never taken a Zumba class comes into my class and hollers with me and laughs as she watches my hips shake and gets right in there with me shakin her hips. I love seeing the smiles on people's faces as they are working out because they are having fun doing the salsa, or cumbia, or merengue, maybe even a little reggaeton or belly dancing.

Yes I am calm and laid back, I am not very dramatic, and I am simple. But I am also complex, I can overcome my fears or others misconceptions, I can shake my booty and hoop and holler. I am a Zumba instructor, I wanted it and I love it.