Over the past several years I have experienced living with sorrow in my heart but also happiness and joy. I have striven to choose to have hope for the future and faith in the Lords promises.
Sorrow is a part of our life on Earth and we each experience it for different reasons. Sometimes when I feel pain, anxiety, disappointment it leads to the desire within me to retreat to keep me safe and not get hurt. For instance, I see a guy I am interested in, I turn away because of the potential for pain and sorrow. I let my trust for a moment wane in Christ who heals us from our pain and act on fear instead of with courage. I take safer risks so the pain will only be felt in private instead of in public. I am trying to be mindful of being more open, kind, and loving no matter the reception and turning to the Lord when the outcome brings about pain. This is in dating but also in other situations in my life where I recognize I want to retreat because of anxiety or fear. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes I still retreat, but continuing to practice.
I have learned through experience it is important to turn to Christ in our pain, anxiety and disappointment to allow healing. Learning of him helps me to turn towards him. As part of that process I have found service and loving others to be healing. Being able to nurture others through the guidance of the spirit helps me to be filled with the love of God and provides healing to my heart. Through that healing my desire to retreat because of fear dissipates and I am moved with a desire towards more faithful brave action.
“Fear not, little flock. … Look [to Christ] in every thought; doubt not, fear not” (D&C 6:34, 36).
“Ye have not as yet understood how great blessings the Father hath … prepared for you. … Be of good cheer. … The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours” (D&C 78:17–18).
Despite not yet receiving the desires I have hoped for and prayed for a good many years I do not regret where I am today. I have been a happy participant in the Lords purposes of my life. I have been a part of miracles in my life and in the lives of others. I love the story of Joseph who was sold into Egypt by his brothers. He went through some hard times but always was a faithful servant of God. When his brothers feared his wrath for the way they had treated him, he simply forgave them and expressed his Faith in a God who he served and delighted in God’s purposes. He recognized that God used his life for good and ultimately Joesph was always blessed throughout his service. I feel that same way about my life, that I have been able to be about my God’s purposes and I have been blessed through it. I can follow the example of Joseph and forgive myself of my own weaknesses and not show myself wrath for being imperfect, because even in my imperfections I have been engaged in the purposes of God. I can trust that God is making me into something eternally beautiful.
I listened to this devotional by Elder Holland today and felt inspired in my faith, courage, and hope for the future.
“We must go forward. God expects you to have enough faith, determination, and trust in Him to keep moving, keep living, keep rejoicing. He expects you not simply to face the future; He expects you to embrace and shape the future—to love it, rejoice in it, and delight in your opportunities.
God is eagerly waiting for the chance to answer your prayers and fulfill your dreams, just as He always has. But He can’t if you don’t pray, and He can’t if you don’t dream. In short, He can’t if you don’t believe.” - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
