A Letter to My Future Children

My dearest children,

I love you with all of my heart. This can be a difficult and heartbreaking world to live in and yet so full of goodness and beauty if you will seek to be a part of it. My greatest hope is to be able to teach you and lead in example to turn to God, his son Jesus Christ, and to listen to the whispering of the spirit. I know if you do this I have no need to worry. You will make it through your struggles, you will not be alone when I cannot be there, you will be a force for good in the world and help to create beauty.

I wish I could keep you from struggling and pain but I know I cannot, and I also know it is an important part of your journey which will make you stronger if you choose to turn to Christ.

In my life I have had moments of doubts or questions on things that I didn't quite understand. I haven't always received an immediate answer to an uttered prayer while sometimes I do. In those moments as you wait to receive an answer to your sincere prayer, diligently search the scriptures and serve the Lord. I testify to you that as you do these things the answers will come to you through your thoughts, impressions on the heart, or from the word of God. This will be the best way to receive the answer for yourself because then it will be imprinted on your heart and mind through the spirit of God. It won't be a temporary fix that is calmed just for the moment only to arise again in the future because of a different source that you sought after for truth. Remember God and Christ are your ultimate source of truth, seek for confirmation from them through the spirit.

I have experienced heartache and pain in my life. There have been times when I have had others who mourn with me and express compassion and love. Then there are those times in the quiet of the night or early morning hours where tears have wet my pillow and I feel alone in my quiet struggle. I want you to know you are never alone even if you feel you are. You will forever have the prayers of your mother pleading with her father in heaven to watch over you, to lead you, guide you, and comfort you. I know from my own experience that God answers my prayers and he is with you. Reach out to him, cry your tears and heartache to him and allow the Atonement of Christ to heal your pain and provide you with peace that all will be well for you and that he can and will be your strength when you are weak, he will make you strong.

I have made mistakes in my life, moments when I have chosen contrary to what the Lord would have me choose. I want you to know that making a mistake and sinning is a part of life. I would encourage you to choose good and do the best that you can to avoid the consequences of a sinful choice but the truth is you will have imperfect moments in life. In those moments I want you to know that you have a mother who loves you no matter what and always wants you in her heart and home. There will always be consequences because of a sinful choice but my love for you will never be lost or go away. If you need my help I am here. Most importantly know that just as great as my love is for you, God's love is greater. He wants you to come home to him too. He will bring you home through repentance and his son's atonement. Sometimes repentance may be rough, it is definitely humbling. You are not alone as you go through the process of repentance. I promise that Christ will carry you, he will lead you. Your work is simply to learn of him and serve him. His love and compassion will do the rest to cleanse you and change you. As you learn of him and serve him your desire to do good will grow and you will feel of his overwhelming love and you will become so aware of the goodness in your life. Don't let the idea of being perfect and not measuring up hold you back from realizing who you are, a child of God, and progressing towards who you can become through Christ.

My dearest children I hope and yearn for you to come be a part of my life. I haven't found your father yet but I imagine I will choose a handsome man who loves God, serves him, and desires to serve our family and choose to love me every day. He won't be perfect but he is striving to live and act according to gospel values. As I strive to find your father I am doing my best to live a life of purpose. I am not perfect at it but every day is a new day, every moment a new moment to make a better choice. I have been greatly blessed as I have been on this journey so far. While there have been my difficult moments I have been surrounded by so many happy moments. I have been blessed to be a part of miracles in your grandparents and aunts and uncles lives. I have been a part of miracles in the lives of my friends. I have experienced the great love that Heavenly Father has for others and that helps me to better understand the great love he has for me and for you.

My dear children seek to live with purpose, serve the Lord and be a witness of Christ's love. I promise you will live a blessed and happy life no matter your circumstances. Remember to count your blessings and be full of gratitude because this will open your eyes and heart to the beauty in your world.

With all my love,

Your mother

Rich Blessings are in Store!

Growing up I always imagined that my life would follow a similar pattern as my own mothers as far as marriage was concerned; getting married around 21-22. I went to college choosing a degree that I thought was a good mother friendly degree. There was never a doubt that I would further my education, it wasn't about getting an MRS. degree, I just wanted something that could allow me to be a mom. While I didn't end up sticking with my original choice I feel I chose well with something that I can really enjoy now that will also allow for flexibility in the future and build skills that are also useful with a family.

Around 19 just before I turned 20 I was talking to my dad and he mentioned to me that he thought I should think about going on a mission. I for one did not have that in my plans and was not really interested in serving a mission. Along with that I had never heard good things about sister missionaries (drama, drama, drama), so why would I want to be one. But I respected my father so I would at least pray about it and see what God thought of the idea. As I prayed part of that thought process was that I wanted to get married and I would prefer that opportunity. I knew that being a wife and mother was such a great calling and service and I was happy to serve in that capacity. Ultimately though my greatest desire was to serve him in the capacity that he would desire me to serve, so I was open to hear what opportunity he would open up for me. The Lord heard and answered my prayers and I may have cried a little when I received the answer; he wanted me to go on a mission. With that decision I was determined to not be a sister missionary that created drama. I can say wholeheartedly that the Lord knows what is best for us and that was one of the best choices I have made in my life thus far.

Returning from my mission the Lord let me know that I would need to be patient in my marriage desires. I thought this meant a few short years, ha ha. Because of this knowledge I took to studying patience and trying to learn from those in the scriptures who exemplified patience. I must say these last several years have taught me some valuable lessons and changed my very character. That is an aspect of the gospel that I am so grateful for: I have the ability to change and progress.

Living a single life has taught me some very valuable things and the Lord has been able to utilize me in ways that he would not have been able to had I been married so young. It has been a struggle, heartbreaking and lonely. It has also been a refining process in which the Lord has taught me to serve at a time when I could easily be selfish. I have seen his purposes fulfilled and been a part of beautiful moments. I have had to struggle for answers, be patient for desired blessings, learn to really trust in the Lord and his promises. When I think of what the Lord is teaching my character and helping me to become I am filled with gratitude for where he has brought me from in just the last 10-15 years. Through my struggles my testimony has been strengthened in God. He has not left me alone. He is always there to remind me in my despair that I have reason to hope, that he has not forgotten me. He provides me the reason and the strength to endure well. I can think of far harder things to endure than my loneliness and heartache for something that I have wanted so much for so long. But as simple as my struggle is, it is mine, and he has not left me alone in it.

I recently joined a family ward after leaving the singles ward and this can be a daunting experience for many. I felt prepared and ready as I had many friends whose examples had paved the way before me and had myself chosen to be in a family ward for a little over a year during my singles ward years which was a great experience. A year before I changed wards I visited to check out the ward I would be a part of since I had recently moved to a new city. I quietly slipped in and sat on the back row, hoping to meet the Bishop after the 1st hour of church but not feeling brave enough to go up and introduce myself to him. As the sacrament hour ended and I stood up I saw the Bishop exiting the chapel quite quickly and thought "oh no". I turned to the door to exit and there was the Bishop opening the door, extending his hand to me to introduce himself and ask me about myself. Needless to say I felt this was going to be a great ward to be a part of. A year later when I started attending the ward full time I was welcomed with open arms. I wish every single adult and member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints could have the experience that I have had over the last year as I came into a new ward. They opened their arms to me and invited me in. They quickly learned my name and I quickly had women that I could call my friends and sit with at church. Everyone was so genuine and loving and wanted me to feel and know that I was a part of their ward family. They truly exemplify Christ's love.

I am grateful for the hands on this earth that have acted as God's hands to lift me up when I have been down. I am grateful for the experiences that I have had and the faith that has grown as a result. I am grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and for those who have taught me how to live it. I am grateful for the Lord's sure promises and the hope I can continue to have in them. I have been blessed greatly in my life and I know that rich blessings are in store. He does not forget us, we just need to look to him so we can see.

Promises of Eternity

Temples I have visited.

Good things to come that is what we are promised. That is the promise of eternity. The hard things of life do not follow us into eternity. They will have built our character, strengthened us, and have the ability to bring out our very best selves if we turn to our Savior in them, but the hard things are limited to this mortal life.

The Temple for me is a place of peace, a place that reminds me of my eternal nature and helps me to find peace in my current struggles. There I am reminded that I can let go of my fears because I know that I can trust in a God who did not say I would escape the difficulties of a fallen world but did say that I am promised eternal happiness. 

There are moments in our lives when we get to glimpse into the joys of eternity. Many of these moments come from the relationships and love that we share with one another. I am truly grateful for the blessings of eternity and the joys I am able to feel now because of the love of God.

I have many holy places in addition to the Temple a few of which are:

family time

spiritually uplifting conversations with friends and family

acting on spiritual promptings

writing letters to missionaries

scripture study

church lesson preparation

my home

service

prayer

What are your holy places that bring you peace and remembrance of a loving Heavenly Father? What helps you to trust in the promises of eternity?

Click here to learn more about why The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints builds Temples.

Happily Ever After

Expressions of God's love

I have had powerful experiences with God's love in my life.

I have been reflecting on God's love and how he sees me and everyone around me. 

Feeling grateful for the ways he has shown me his love and the miracles I have witnessed in my life because of his love for me. 

I am grateful for those who have been his instrument and helped to bring his love more fully into my life

I am grateful for those times when I have been blessed to be an instrument and to share his great love with others along my path in this life. 

Really one powerful experience stands out to me and has become a part of my soul and has been etched in through joy and pain. My hope is that this dear friend that I love unconditionally without expectation recognizes that really it was not my love but the expression of the love of Heavenly Father and Christ in their life that was gifted to me to share during that experience. I was blessed to be an instrument in sharing that great love. 

Through these experiences I have learned more of the incredible love that our Father and Christ has for all of us, both through being served and serving.

I am a witness of the love that Heavenly Father and Christ has for you! He knows you and your circumstances, and he loves you, and always loves you!

Be Still My Soul

Throughout the years I have sought much solace in this beautiful hymn. 

 "Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;

With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain."

I love the example of Abraham in bearing his grief or pain with patience. 

I have learned much from his example and tried to apply the principles he lived in my own life. 

Hebrews 6:10-15; Romans 4:18-22

I wish I could say that I never stagger in unbelief, but sometimes I have moments when I do.

Moments when I feel overwhelmed by loneliness, grief and pain. 

And then the words of this song sink into my soul,

The words of Christ, his promises, and the faith of those who have gone before me leave imprints on my heart.

"Leave to thy God to order and provide;

In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.

Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend

Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end."

There are promises that God has given to us personally and collectively.

He will fulfill these promises, whether in this life or in the next.

"When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,

Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.

Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,

All safe and blessed we shall meet at last."

I am reminded of one of my favorite quotes regarding sorrows, tears, and disappointments:

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude."

~Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake

To guide the future as he has the past.

Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;"

Hebrews 10:35-37

How easy it can be at times to lose confidence, to forget the beauty that I have been blessed with already.

My sister, who is serving a mission in New Zealand currently, sent me a beautiful letter in which she acknowledged much of the good that I have done for her in her life, she expressed her gratitude to me which brought me to tears to know of the great purposes the Lord had me be a part of in her life. And then she follow with this beautiful counsel:

"Before I close my letter I'll direct you towards the Book of Mormon, liken these scriptures to yourself. 2 Nephi 31:19-20. Nephi has just laid up for us the doctrine of Christ. He acknowledges the good that we've done then asks if all is done? Nay. Ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ having a perfect brightness of hope. We must feast upon the words of Christ and endure til the end. Then will we be granted eternal life. There is nothing greater to aspire for. And what a merciful God we have whose only desire is for us to obtain it. Again, he prepares the way.

" The last scripture has been pressing on my mind the last few days. I thought it applied specifically to me, but I wish to extend it to you. Alma 26:27. Ammon speaking says, 'Now when our hearts were depressed and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us and said... bear with patience thine afflictions and I will give unto you success.' I know your desires. The Lord extends this to you bear these afflictions for a short time then will he pour out blessings upon you. As Isaiah we often beg the question 'Lord, how long?' Isaiah 6:11. Until the end. We don't know the timing of the Lord his ways are higher than our ways. May God grant you success!"

I have seen as I have applied these principles in my life of patience and trusting in the Lord's promises and timing he has brought me healing, peace, happiness, and comfort even while waiting upon the promises. 

I am grateful for those who have mourned with me, I am grateful for those who have lifted me with inspired words of faith from the scriptures, Prophets, and Apostles. I am grateful for the power of prayer, for the effects that it has on my heart. I am grateful for a God that brings peace and comfort to my soul in troubled and heartbreaking times. I used to think that it meant that things were going to change immediately that my circumstances would miraculously be different, sometimes it is different. And sometimes I have learned in patience that there is so much more the Lord would have me learn and that the whispering of the spirit is the Lord's promises that he will fulfill what he has taught me just not quite in the way I had originally thought, but that I can have hope in Him.

"All now mysterious shall be bright at last.

Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know

His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below."

A Letter for You

Dear You,

I was thinking of you and the struggles that we go through in life. You are a (missionary, wife, mother, daughter, husband, father, son...) who desires to give all! What a beautiful thing that is! You will work your heart out to accomplish great things in the Kingdom of God. You have righteous desires to [insert desire here] and you will do absolutely everything you can to accomplish this. And sometimes when you have given your all and tried everything you can think of, it seems to not be enough and you are left asking the Lord and seeking for what more can you do. There must be something you are missing, because this is surely the desire of the Lord for you, so there must be something he can tell you that will bring about this great miracle of [insert miracle here]. Let me assure you if there is something missing he will share it with you as you seek for it!

But sometimes his purposes are not completely known to us, sometimes even though he has the power to change or soften hearts or other miraculous miracles that we think are needed it is not his will at this time. We can trust that all righteous desires will be fulfilled at some time, but those miracles will come about in the Lord's time. We have the opportunity to exercise our faith in knowing that the Lord can accomplish these miracles, because we've seen it, and trusting that he will be in all the details no matter the current outcome. As we exercise our faith and do our part to act we can learn to put our trust in his will and remember it is His plan, not our own, that we chose to be a part of.

Elder Bednar in his talk titled "That We Might 'Not...Shrink' (D&C 19:18)" stated: "a principle that applies to every devoted disciple: strong faith in the Savior is submissively accepting of His will and timing in our lives—even if the outcome is not what we hoped for or wanted. Certainly, [we] would desire, yearn, and plead for [insert desire here] with all of [our] might, mind, and strength. But more importantly, [we can] be “willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon [us], even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19). Indeed, [we can] be willing to “offer [our] whole souls as an offering unto him” (Omni 1:26) and humbly pray, “Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:42)."

You are a wonderfully devoted disciple and have much to do in the service of God. I am so happy for the choices you have made for you will be continually blessed and constantly learn throughout your life as you continue to give your heart to the Lord. You will continue to learn of your weakness and you will be able to envision how much the Lord loves you and glimpse throughout life the great purposes he has for you. There will be many struggles that come and there will be great happiness that you can't even imagine. Always the Lord will be with you, even if you feel alone you can trust he is there and he hears your prayers, he understands your desires. Hold onto that knowledge and the time will come when you will see his purposes fulfilled and you will rejoice in His will and that it was greater than your own.

Love, 

Me