The truth is...

The past two-ish months I have had to break the news that my boyfriend and I broke up.

In some instances before breaking the news I have had to explain that
"no I am not engaged."

Breaking up sucks!

I have felt much grief.
This last weekend something finally happened in my heart that I cannot explain.
It is lifted again, I don't turn off the country radio station anymore.
I don't cry when I hear certain songs on the radio.

In fact this morning I turned on the radio and "Oh you make me smile" began.
I swear you would have thought I just started a cd
I thought in my head "no this will not make me sad"

The truth is he still makes me smile.
Maybe not with the same meaning.
But I have fond memories of time spent with a good friend.
A friend I will always cherish.

I told someone today that we broke up and her response was "jerk"
I guess that is the girlfriend response.

But the truth is he was honest.
The truth is he did what was best for me.
Do I like it? I am getting used to it.
The world has not ended.

The truth is I will always speak highly of him.
The truth is he has a great character.
The truth is I am blessed to know him.
The truth is he is my friend!

I am the luckiest girl in the world!

I feel my last post may have been misinterpreted so I wanted to share the rest of my heart.

I am surrounded by so many amazing people that love and care for me, so numerous that they cannot be named. It is likely you are reading my blog and you should know I am speaking of you.
I have felt of their love, I have seen their love.

I was staring at a picture of my family the other day and thought how did I become so lucky to be surrounded by such beautiful people with shining faces. They aren't perfect but they are mine.

I have the gospel of Jesus Christ in my life that fills me with love, faith, and hope!

I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and his Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me.

I have had the blessing of loving another without condition.

I am the luckiest girl in the world!

That is the rest of my heart.

Don't Forget Me

It used to seem impossible that I could be replaced

Now I fear I will be forgotten

I find myself jealous of those who have your friendship

I miss what we had

You changed me for the better


A friend shared a song with me that I felt rang true with some of the thoughts in my heart.

Someone like you by Adele:

Old friend, why are you so shy?

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited,
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it,
I had hoped you'd see my face,
And that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over,

Never mind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg

Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead

You know how the time flies,
Only yesterday was the time of our lives,
We were born and raised in a summer haze,
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg!

Precious moments!

Today was a special day of precious moments.

My niece was blessed today.
Kyrah Lea Clements

It was a precious moment watching my dad and brothers and my sister in laws brothers and father get up to stand in the circle surrounding this sweet new little girl. My youngest brother, not yet old enough to stand in the circle performed his priesthood duty by holding the microphone. It was a precious moment hearing my brother, Kyrah's father, pronouce a blessing for her life. 9 men in the circle and my 13 year old brother holding the mic. What a way to start a life than to be surrounded by such good examples.

My other precious moment came shortly after when my 13 year old brother came and sat next to me. My heart has been grieving for the past little while and it seems will continue for a time and my sweet brother understands that I am sad. When he sat next to me he put his arm up over my shoulder and gave me a pat and left it there for the remainder of the meeting. He would have done this regardless of the sadness in my heart, but it lessened for a moment as he shared his love as a 13 year old with his 27 year old sister.

Lessons learned from friends

I am surrounded by amazing people. These are a few principles that I have been taught about by friends.

I have some friends who left the area not so long ago because they felt inspired to do so. Following that inspiration, they sadly left behind friends who loved them to follow what they felt was right. Recently I found out that they are now returning. In his status explaining his news I found this principle:

"Sometimes in order for lessons to be learned and for the Lord to teach us, we have to do things we may not at the time really understand. I look forward to our new adventure and what the Lord has in store for us."

I thought of the blog I recently wrote about sacrifice and how sometimes the Lord asks us to do things to help teach us what is right and also to help align our hearts with his will. Through this we are given promised blessings.


Another wise friend of mine taught this principle in her blog,

"The noise we allow into our lives may distract us from whatever it is we're hiding from, but it will never take it away. Silence on the other hand, opens the doorway for reflection and personal revelation - both of which can provide healing."

And yet another friend shared with me this through an e-mail about James 1: 3 - 7: "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. "

My friend taught,

"Each of us is acting in faith and trying to follow God's will. His will may be in regards to a boy, a job, moving, or staying put. The trial of our faith requires patience. I love verse 4, the process of patience is what develops perfection...so that at the end of our work, we will want nothing. That is just beautiful. And then when we ask for answers from God, we have to not waver from the course he will lay out for us, or else our faith will be for nothing. We stay the course and keep on acting when the path takes turns here and there...and in the end we will be 'perfect and entire, wanting nothing'. "

Grateful

Once again I am so grateful that I moved to San Marcos!

I am receiving an award from the Texas Chapter of the American College of Sports Medicine.

Major of the Year!

I wouldn't have been able to reach that had I not moved to San Marcos and been able to be more available to study, and spend time at school and let the professors get to know me.

I also made the Dean's List

If you could see my transcript from my previous college experience when I was younger you would understand my excitement!

Sacrifice

Today I had a wonderful lesson in Relief Society* about sacrifice. It brought to me many thoughts that I have had previously and has caused further reflection. She, our teacher, started with the story of Naomi from the Bible which brought to my mind Ruth. Ruth and I have a special connection. She has taught me much and I try to follow her example.

Then I thought about Abraham and his sacrifices. Most often when I have thought about Abraham I have thought about the sacrifice of his son, but really his sacrifices started earlier than that. In chapter 15 of Genesis he desires to have children and the Lord gives him a promise that his seed shall be as the stars in the sky.

But he must wait years for this promise to be realized in his life. In chapter 21 is when Isaac is born and the promise of the Lord is preserved through him. In chapter 15 Abraham is 46ish, in chapter 21 he is 100 years old. The promise was not forgotten it was just fulfilled in the Lord's timing. Abraham all those years grew in faith and trust in the promises of the Lord.

And then he is asked to sacrifice his son, to let him go. He represents the promises that he has been given, he had come to understand that Isaac was the fulfillment of these promises made. Why is he asked to make him a sacrifice? For a reason I am sure he did not know or comprehend he was asked for this sacrifice and he went forth trusting in the Lord. I can't imagine the heartache he likely felt as he was thinking of the loss his son would be in his life. But with each step he took he acted in faith.

Interestingly it was not just Abraham who needed to sacrifice his will but also Isaac. Isaac, I imagine, did not understand either why his father was asked to sacrifice him, why when I am sure things were going good, his life was meant to end as a sacrifice.

Both Abraham and Isaac sacrificed their will to the Lord's will. I am sure Isaac knew of his father's ability to speak with the Lord and trusted that whatever his Father did was because the spirit was directing him to do so.

When the time was right the Lord sent and angel to stop Abraham. Both Abraham and Isaac had proved they they were willing to give of their desires and follow the Lord's will. Many great and wonderful blessings came as a result of their putting aside their own desires and following the will of God.

From this experience great lessons were learned, both of them received their desires but it was after they were willing to put the Lord first, above their desires. Lessons needed to be learned, growth needed to happen on both of their behalfs.

It is most likely that none of us will ever have to sacrifice a child or our own lives, but their will be moments in our lives when we are asked to sacrifice of our greatest desires. Where we will be required to put our faith and trust in the Lord and realize that his promised blessings will come forth in his timing. The Lord will guide us just as he guided Abraham, and he will teach us, and he will help us to grow. We will have grief, we will have joy, we will have his comfort if we seek after it. And we too will be blessed and receive great and wonderful blessings just as we have been promised.

* Relief Society is the 3rd hour meeting of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints where the women meet together to be spiritually uplifted by a lesson and discussion on a gospel principle.